


I won't Say I'm In Love

by Dearieforever



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dearieforever/pseuds/Dearieforever
Summary: Rumple is in serious denial.





	I won't Say I'm In Love

He should never have brought have brought her to the castle. Why had he taken her as his price for saving Avonlea anyway? He had been telling the truth when he said he wasn't looking for love. And he wasn't in love. So why had he wanted to offer her some small comfort that night she'd been crying? True it was only a pillow, but he'd been lying when he said it was only to muffle her cries. 

She'd brought light into his life, literally and figuratively. When he'd seen her fall and realized she could have been hurt, somehow that was unthinkable. When she'd been taken and her life in danger, he'd handed over the gauntlet for her. That wasn't a good sign. He was starting to care for her. He'd been down that road twice. It had never ended well. 

If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that.

So far he'd loved a woman who would leave her child without a second thought, and one who had used him. They'd both had a spirit, a spiciness he'd found irresistible. Neither of them had ever loved him. Both had left him feeling crushed beyond repair. The pain he'd been left with had not been worth the brief illusion of joy.

No woman's worth the aggravation.  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

And now he was heading down that road all over again. Was he so foolish he hadn't learned that lesson by now, after it had been so painfully driven in twice? No one could ever, ever love him. And yet- when she'd hugged him for sparing that thief's life, he'd melted so much that he'd added a whole room onto the castle so she could read to her heart's content, when she already read so much she barely did any work.

Who'd' ya think you're kiddin'?  
She's the Earth and heaven to you.  
Try to keep it hidden,  
Rumple, we can see right through you.  
Man, ya can't conceal it.   
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of.

Belle had tried to push the matter once or twice. She'd even said she believed part of the reason he collected so many things was because of a hole in his heart. What did she want from him? To say it, to admit he cared? No! He hadn't said it when she asked why he'd saved her, and he wouldn't say it now!

No chance, no way.  
I won't say it, no, no!

Yet even the memory of that simple hug made his heart race.

You swoon, you sigh.  
Why deny it? Uh-oh!

This was ridiculous. He wasn't some hero from some romance novel! The idea of a story's villain falling in love with the beautiful girl might make for a decent read for someone like Belle, but this was his life, not a book.

It's too cliché.  
I won't say I'm in love.

Again, he thought of Milah and Cora. He could not forget what he'd learned from them. Do not let your heart be touched! Don't care about her. Keep your barriers up. You'll regret it if you don't.

I thought my heart had learned its lesson.  
It feels so good when you start out.  
My head is screaming get a grip, man,  
Or it will feel like your heart's been ripped out!

Besides, he was the Dark One. How much closer could one get to being the personification of evil? He could keep his heart hardened easily enough. It would be noting to keep her from invading his feelings. Love was a weapon, but he knew well enough how to defend himself from it. She was simply useful to keep the place clean. She was his maid. Nothing more.

You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling.  
Rumple we're not buying.

“Rumplestiltskin?”

He turned and saw Belle, and his face seemed to light up. He realized it to, and hated it.

Man, we saw ya hit the ceiling.  
Face it like a grown-up.  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad?

“Need something, Dearie?” Why had that come out like a warm concern for her? 

Whoa. No chance, no way.  
I won't say it, no, no.

“I just wanted to say goodnight.”

He felt his face split in a smile, and immediately tried forcing it away.

Give up, give in.  
Check the grin. You're in love.

“Well, goodnight then.”

He could have said more, wished her sweet dream or something. That would have been a mistake.

This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love.

Yet he felt his heart pounding so hard just looking at her.

You're doin' flips. Read our lips.  
You're in love.

No, he was simply admiring her the way he would any beautiful piece in is collection.

You're way off base  
I won't say it.  
Get off my case!  
I won't say it.

Belle looked so disappointed though. Had she wanted some warmer sentiment? Why would she? 

Man, don't be proud.  
It's O.K. You're in love.

“I- I hope you sleep well.” Why had he said that? What the hell was he doing? “After all, I have a long list of things I need you to take care of tomorrow.”

She turned away, and he could almost feel the regret off her. Before he could stop himself he added “Sweet dreams!” For a moment he thought he was lucky and she hadn't heard. She looked back at him with a smile that told him she had. He couldn't help returning it.

Oh-ohhhhh  
At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love.


End file.
